Posts

Grief

  I have worn strength like borrowed clothes, too heavy, never mine, stitched together from other people’s needs, while my own seams split in silence. I smile so no one sees the cracks, I carry weight I never chose, but at night my chest becomes an ocean, and I am swallowed whole by tides of sorrow. I want to scream, but my throat is stone. I want to weep, but my eyes are deserts. So I sit, hollow and unbroken, because breaking feels like a luxury I was never allowed. Grief has no timetable. It lingers in the marrow, a quiet rot, a slow eclipse, asking nothing, taking everything. And still they call me strong. As if strength is not another word for loneliness.

Rolling the First Die

 This is my first attempt at blogging and I’m not entirely sure if should I be doing this - I don’t have the time or the passion to maintain this as often as I would like, but maybe that’s what I need. I am, honestly, just looking for somewhere I can vent without being judged and find a way to parse through the emotions, or even a way to keep a detailed log of what I want to accomplish and hold myself accountable to it.  There are too many things that go through my mind that stay there and fester until I grow to hate myself or the people involved, or I don’t have a healthy outlet to express these feelings. I don’t have a safe space and I know the Internet shouldn’t be considered that but here we are. This blog is essentially just going to cover a multitude of things: my goals in life, any life updates, dungeons, and dragons shenanigans, my poetry, and other things. I just don’t wanna keep the important things bottled up. That said today’s topic is going to be heavy. I need to ...